The greatest literary discovery of the century: Shakespeare’s Sonnet 66a

There is a glaring omission in Shakespeare’s Sonnet 66 that so masterfully enumerates tragic absurdities of human existence – the absence of any mention of grotesqueness of the judicial system.

The only possible reason for this gap I can think of, is that one line was simply not enough to encompass this phenomenon.

And indeed, such was the case! The entire sonnet dealing with the Law has been recently discovered!

The circumstances of this thrilling literary event were as follows: while waiting for a train, I suddenly felt inside me the up-swelling of the wave of amazing inspiration, and the words just began to flow. Not being a poet, I realized that the spirit of the Bard was here, trying to communicate to the world his lost, and greatest, masterpiece though me.

Thrilled to be of assistance to Shakespeare, no matter in how humble a role, I grabbed a pencil and swiftly set down the following immortal lines, later adding the compiler’s preface uniform with the standard editions of the Sonnets:

To the practitioners whose actions inspired
this ensuing Sonnet – US Judges Lettow, Vitaliano, Jacobs, Katzmann, Livingston, Roberts, Garaufis, Buchwald, Garland, Tatel, Brown, Shofield et al
from its onlie begetter, the spirit of WS [and his amanuensis LT]

Sonnet 66a

Tired with all these, for court reform I cry,
As to behold the judge a lawyer born,
And Lady Justice beaming honesty,
And faith in courts still kept, and not forsworn;
And how much money on court fees is spent,
And how much more to lawyers goes bright,
And brilliance of the argument they send,
And feel of victory this argument provide;
And judge replacing it with nonsense dull,
And rule on basis of his blatant fraud,
And plaintiffs’ clear victory annul,
And we this farce as the “due process” laud;

Tired with all these, all these I’d overthrown,
But hard it is for me to fight alone.

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